lists and lists and still I can’t remember

December 12th, 2003 by cathy
I have begun to make lists
things to do
groceries
names
dates
what I ate for dinner
everything
before it spills out
of my head
and disappears forever
I am too young
to lose my head
there shouldn’t be
enough in it
to disappear forever
I want to keep
my first kiss
my 21st birthday
my first hangover
my wedding day
I don’t just want lists
that remind me
I had fun
I got sick
I was happy
I need to remember
who I am
why I am here
why I shouldn’t disappear
Its just too hard
to stay clear
to remember
who I am
and why

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