Archive for January, 2005


Thursday, January 20th, 2005

(oh my god. My cat just puked on my papasan chair. It makes me so ill. I hate her so much. oh great, now the dog just ate some of it. blek.)

People keep trying to remind me that women have been giving birth for thousands of years, and that due to all the leaps in medical technology women don’t need to “suffer” anymore. But I still don’t know what to expect. Lots of women have told me, don’t worry about it 20 minutes and you’ll have a baby. Unfortunately, I spoke to my mom, and she said that labor was really long and intense. Great. Thanks a lot mom and grandma. Luckily my mom is going to be in the delivery room, so I’ll be able to yell at her a lot (instead of my husband, who will stil be there, but I won’t have to yell at him. Well as much.) I vaguely remember my mom being in labor with my youngest sister. She was pacing back and forth and my dad was timing her contractions. I’m guessing it will be a couple hours of pain, with bones breaking and things spreading apart and lots of crying.

I’m also petrified of the epidural. Needles in the back, unable to feel my lower body and having a catheter in the back and the possibility of back problems after birth are pretty discouraging. Plus I looked up information on epidurals, and came across this faq. I’ve been trying (although not so hard recently) to educate myself, but maybe it would be better if I didn’t know anything. Ergh! I really don’t know if I want an epidural (well I know I don’t want an epidural), but I don’t want to have to go through all the pain either. The things we do to ensure that we are remembered when we die, and so that our family line is carried on. Stupid.

I think a little bit of me is scared of being responcible for another life (we have a dog and two cats, but I don’t think they expect very much, and as long as we don’t beat them, they probably won’t be traumatized) and it will be a small defenseless life at that. I’ve been wanting to say that yes, I am ready, but some part of me doesn’t really believe it. I want my child to be well rounded and a good citizen, but it’ll mean I have to be so dedicated and conscious of everything that happens to him. It sounds like a lot of work! But I guess that when its your own child you’re talking about, maybe it doesn’t always seem like work. Who knows. I sure as hell don’t. At least I’ll make sure that he reads. I guess thats part of the package when your mom’s a children’s librarian. You have to read.

Baby registration nightmares

Wednesday, January 19th, 2005

So baby shower registering begins. This is such a scary scary thing. Masses of crazy pregnant women with sore feet who have to pee and husbands who look like they’d prefer to be at the electronics store next door. We were able to register at Target and Babies R Us one right after the other, because they’re right next door to each other and just in case my husband had a panic attack, there was a Best Buy and a hardware store next to them.

There is SO MUCH STUFF to look at! Its amazing people don’t fall over with shock from trying to figure out what they’re going to need. So far I’m getting the picture that I’m going to need lots of wash cloths, blankets, onesies, diapers, burp cloths, fitted sheets and bibs. Anything that a baby can poop or puke on we need lots of. Its crazy! As soon as you turn a corner, there’s more of the same stuff to look at, and then you start second guessing yourself. Do I need the ducky or the doggy wash cloth? Oh! And the doctor NEVER mentions that you’re going to start talking so that everything ends in “eeey”. Poopy, doggy, kitty, baby, hammy, Cathy. EVERYTHING! Even my husband started speaking like this. Its crazeeey!

Anyway Babies R Us should be illegal. Its enough to make new moms-to-be want to run out in front of a car.

It’s Alive!

Monday, January 17th, 2005

Yes I am still alive… you know, I thought that I would be updating this all the time and using this instead of a journal, but life is so crazy sometimes and you spend most of your day in front of a computer, why spend your night in front of a computer (although this does not seem to be an issue for my husband, he spends all day in front of computers and loves it).

I find it highly amusing that I am giving a presentation to other librarians about blogs, and I haven’t updated this site in half a year and my blog for teens in over a month. I am really slipping. I guess this is one of the fortunate things about blogs. No one knows your name… well my name really is Cathy, but really let’s not get picky. No one can call you and complain, and I’m sure hardly anyone ever looks here (especially since I haven’t updated this in half a year… urg) so I’m doing good.

Onto the subject that takes up most of my life right now (besides preparing for summer reading so I’m ready when I get back to work).

Baby update:

I am having a boy on March 27 2004 (or somewhere roundabout that date). Trying to register for baby stuff is a nightmare. I don’t know how people do this. There is so much stuff and you turn a corner and BAM more of the same stuff, only slightly different. How do you know which one is the best pacifer? Which blanket will keep them warmer and soak up the most barf? Which glider can you sit in for an hour and feed your kid without your butt falling asleep? How many pacifers and sheets and washclothes and bottles and onesies do I need? HOW DO I DO ALL THIS WITHOUT LOSING MY MIND??

Everyone at the library is really great. I think that’s one of the great things about the field. Its mostly women, and since I’m only twenty-five, they’re mostly my mom’s age, they understand all the gross things that are happening to me, and they want to take care of me. Plus, being a children’s librarian is twice as nice because you work with a lot of moms who have lots of young kids and have just been through the process recently. Granted, most people want to give you advice or sometimes pat your belly (grrrr), but on the whole, the experience hasn’t been so bad… well except for all the crazy nasty things my body has been doing.

Recently, I have been swelling up. My feet look like ham hocks, my fingers like little sausages, and I feel like hell. I have a cold (can’t take any medications) I’m tired (found out I’m anemic) and I can’t remember my name (in fact I can remember anything most days).