Something lost is found

October 2nd, 2005 by cathy

Erie Canal Pathfinder

I found a pathfinder on the Erie Canal that I made when I was at University at Buffalo, getting my MLS, or Masters of Lunkhead Studies for those of you that don’t know. Nah, I’m just kidding. Its amazing how life can change you in just a couple of years. In the last five years I have:

(1) graduated from SUNY Geneseo – June 2001
(2) married Jeff Kyle – August 2002
(3) graduated from University at Buffalo – December 2002
(4)bought first home – March 2003
(5) started my first librarian job at Parma Public Library – May 2003
(6) first job goes full-time – August 2003
(7) acting director at Parma – August 2003 (until Sally took over…)
(8) buy first brand new car – November 2003
(9) brought Buster, our first dog, home – June 2004
(10) first child is born – March 2005

Needless to say, I am exhausted. However, as my husband likes to continually remind me, I am not unhappy. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life.

I just wish that I spent some of the time doing all these great things with friends. I don’t really spend time with people other than co-workers, my husband or my child. I know this is going into that danger zone all blogs have to worry about.

Danger!Danger! Blogster feeling sorry for herself!

Okay, so I am. But, one of the most important things in the whole world for me, besides a loving husband and happy baby are friends. I like to have people to talk to, to hang out with and drink coffee or to do all those stupid things that are silly when you do them alone, but fun if you do with with a couple of other girls. It gets worse because all around me (maybe because I’m looking for it) I see people who have a really tight group of friends, and I get to watch from the sidelines.

I think that a little of this stems from seeing how my parents don’t have many friends and they really only spend time with eachother. I think that if something should happen to one of them (if one of them should die) and not the other, it will be ALOT more devistating than if they had a close group of friends. I love Jeff with all my heart, but I would like to have the option of someone else’s shoulder to cry on. Please don’t get the wrong idea, I do have friends, I’m not a total outcast. But it always feels like there’s a distance between us. They don’t see the world the way I do. Those people that I think I do see a connection with… we aren’t all that close and I don’t want to force myself upon them. Then I’d be a total tool. Life can be so very complicated, but its so simple. AIGH!

…On an interesting and sad side note, I know that we decided that we were giving Buster up, but it was still strange to see that he was available on the website. It made the whole thing seem more real and depressing. I think its better for everyone involved that Buster is going to a new home, but I still feel weird and horrible.

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